Monday 7 January 2013

The Laura, the Danda and the panettone (part 2)

As the Wicked Witch of Banarnia Bread land sped into the distance, Danda turned to Laura, shrugged and said, "Well, that was a bit wierd. Shall we go back through that door into Pembroke Lodge and get some tea?"

"No, Danda," said Laura. "We must rescue these panettones from this awful spell, for it to be always panettone but never cake o' clock."

"Well, what flavour are they? I'm not bothering unless there's an amaretti one."

"Yes, look. Here's one. But we won't be able to eat it unless we beat the Wicked Witch."

Then, from among the panettones, a small rabbit appeared, nose twitching.

Mmm, dinner, they both thought. I wonder if I could find some duck fat to confit it in, thought Laura.

"Follow me," it said, leading them to a small clearing in the panettones. "The Wicked Witch will soon be beaten. They say Maplin's is on the move."

They both felt wonderfully excited, frightened and yet happy. They knew something brilliant was about to happen.

"Maplin's?" Danda asked. "The electrical goods store?"

"Yes," said the rabbit, gravely. "There's mass reductions and sales in all their stores. They're relocating to Teddington."

"Teddington?!" exclaimed Danda. "That's great. They'll be just down the road. O, that's amazing news."

All three of them stood for a while, considering this news.

"Anyway," said Laura. "How are we to beat the wicked witch?"

"O, that? I haven't the foggiest idea," said the rabbit. "You?"

They all looked at each other, puzzled.

"How about we just give her a punch up the throat when she next skips by? We'll know it's her from the stupid bells she wears on her wrist."

The plan decided, they waited behind a large stack of panettones. Next time she skipped by, the rabbit stuck out a foot, tripping her up. They tied her down with some of the packaging ribbons from off the panettones and tickled her till she was hoarse from laughing, had wet herself and the laughter had turned into whimpering tears. She lifted the spell and told them where the nearest tea shop was. As a parting gesture, they gave her a punch up the throat and threw her bells in the bin.

They proceeded to the tea shop for cucumber sandwiches, mini Bakewell tarts and cups of refreshing builders tea.

They took home a panettone and spent the next few days eating it. They soon discovered that it was a never ending panettone and lived off it for the next ten years, until they both had severe problems with obesity and thought it might be time to stop.

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The End

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