G is for...

GIFFGAFF!

What's Giffgaff, you might be thinking? Well, what might it be?

My first thoughts were that it's a word for what well-to-do people say when they mess up a sentence, as in "I've made a real giffgaff there." Or it could be an insult, along the lines of a nincompoop, eg, "O, you giffgaff!" Maybe it could be some kind of cleaning product, given that it sounds like Jif, which later became the way more rubbish 'Cif.' The advert might say something like "Look at how Giffgaff cleans away all the dirt! Proven to be 98% more effective than other leading brands."

Add to these suggestions anything you also might have come up with, maybe it's a kid's clothing brand or another euphemism for nakedness. All fairly decent guesses I think.

But no, it's a mobile phone network! It just seems silly to me, a mobile phone network called Giffgaff. And who thought it up? Were they sitting around in the board room, bouncing ideas around and THAT came out as the best one? Really? What were the others? Fliff-flaff? Binkbonk? Doodah? Fluffoff?

I know Orange and O2 and 3G aren't particularly inspiring names, or anything to do with phones, but they're at least credible. Just straightforward. And the advertising which includes the name is memorable. The future's bright, the future's Orange. Simple. I doubt many people would sign up if the advert went 'The future's bright, the future's Giffgaff.'

Quite a few things have names that I think must have been a result of no-one else turning up for the Ideas Meeting in the board room, or everyone being tired/on drugs/too scared to say it sounded rubbish.

Wii. It's just basic silliness. Playing on the Wii is NOT an appealing prospect and, in fact, I believe most people grew out of that after doing it once as a toddler and being told that it's not for playing with, dear, it belongs in the toilet.

A brand of biscuits that was quite popular when I lived in Southern Africa was called Eet-Sum-Mor. What is that about?! It's like they asked a 14 year old what might sound 'cool.'

"O just do it a bit like text-speak and it'll raise your coolness ratings by a billion!" says the 14 year old. "Ok," say all the grown ups. "If that's what the kids are doing nowadays, let's go with it. We were going to call it Eat Some More but Eet-Sum-Mor is better. Should we add 'LOL' on the end too? Oo! Tempting!"