A conversation Danda and I had while waiting for a train the other day:
Danda: Laura, have you ever thought about how if that novel by F. Scott Fitzgerald was about a load of overweight people, it would be called The Great Fatsby?!
Laura: O yeh! And if it was about some people playing cricket, it would be called The Great Batsby.
Danda: Oo oo! If it was about taxi drivers, it would be called The Great Cabsby.
Laura: Or about people who wouldn't stop talking, it would be called The Great Blabsby.
Danda: Or if it was badly written, it would have been called The Great Crapsby.
Laura: Or! Or if it was about that time there was a load of vermin there, The Great Ratsby!
Danda: Or if it was about all the different things they wore on their heads.... The Great Hatsby.
Laura: Or that bit in the book where he gets run over by a steam roller? The Great Flatsby.
Danda: Or when they went to the Tropics and got bitten... The Great Gnatsby.
Laura: Or when he bought a load of stuff at that car boot sale? The Great Tatsby.
Danda: Or that chapter where he put on a load of weight? the Great Gutsby.
Laura: Or when he had to have liposuction? The Great Flabsby.
Danda: Is this... Are we still doing this? Really? It's been ages now. I feel like we might never stop.
Laura: Shh! Shh, I have another one. Ok. Here's a good one. What about when he went on a plumbing course? The Great Tapsby!
Danda: Um. Ok. We're still going.
Laura: Or that episode where Time Team came round to his house? The Great Digsby.
Danda: That was quite weak. We should stop now. They're getting silly.
Laura: Ok, listen though. Remember when they did it about the working classes? The Great Plebsby.
Danda: This has to stop now....
Laura: What about when the pets took over....?
Danda: Please.....
Laura: The Great.....!
Danda: Enough.
Laura: Catsby!
*Long pause*
Laura: Yeh, ok.......... *whispers* What about that time when he got locked out? The Great Latchkey.
Danda: *disdainfully* That was the worst yet. It doesn't even sound like Gatsby.
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