Tuesday 24 July 2012

My love affair with Waitrose

It's partly because of the cool rush of air that greets you as you enter. It's partly because of the amount of things that have 'organic' written on the label. It's because it makes me feel safe and nurtured. I know where everything is, I feel comfortable there. They know exactly what I want and have it in stock. It's also kind of because there's a whole aisle dedicated to yoghurt. Actually, there are plenty of reasons why I have a long-standing love affair with Waitrose. Let me just tell you about what happened last time I went to see the love of my life.

My shopping list had these things on it:
Shampoo
Conditioner
Asparagus
Something for dinner
Sugar
Eggs

Let's enter my head to see what actually happened.

Oo! The cool air rush. Mmm. Nice. Ok, grab a trolley. I wonder if people think I'm a grown-up cause I've got a trolley. Hee hee. I love pretending to be a grown up. Oo! There's an offer on something! Raspberries! I'll just get one box. And another. Ok, I'll get four! I can make jam with them. I love making jam....

And so it starts. It's one of those days. One of those days where I have to have one of everything.

Let me get some bananas for banana bread. And a few aubergines. They're always good. I guess I'll make a parmigiana with them. So I need tomatoes. I'll get some strawberries on the way to the tomatoes. Beetroot! Oo, I like raw beetroot shaved into a salad with smoked salmon and rocket. Laura! Calm down! You don't need everything! Yes I do, I NEEEEED the beetroot. I need it. Ok then, just get it and shut up. Yesssss, beetroot in trolley. Do I need to stop at the fresh pasta section? Not really, but I like lingering there and looking at it and pretending I'm in Italy. Right, moving on, my favourite sections are coming up. The meat and fish counters. I can feel my eyes lighting up. O no! Here I am in front of the counter ordering tons of fish, before I can stop myself. I'm walking away with a bit of everything, scallops, prawns, squid, mahi-mahi, tilapia, salmon, rainbow trout. What on earth did I do that for?! When can I possibly eat all this fish?! O well. Down the chicken aisle. Oo, what to get? The turkey's on offer, or some duck? Don't be ridiculous, why would I get a duck for normal dinner at home. I must learn to distinguish when fancy dinner is required and when to just do normal dinner. Ok, I've actually got enough fish to feed an army, so maybe I don't need any chicken. And so to the yoghurt aisle. Too much choice! Too exciting! The nice Waitrose yoghurts made with Jersey cream are amazing. I'll get one of each flavour. There are about ten flavours. I don't need them all but I can't stop myself. And some of the passionfruit flavour. Mmm. And a large vanilla one. Mmm... And some of the Greek stuff. Omygoodness, there is NO way I'll be able to get all this home. Ah well, keep going. Skip the freezer aisle. Next aisle, tins and cooking stuff. Actually, I've run out of ground ginger and oregano so let me get some of those. Next, to the juice, yessss, they've got that iced peach tea, two please. Round to the crackers and cereal aisle. I need oats and I'll get some crackers too, they're good to have in. Next aisle, need chocolate for making flapjacks. Eggs, yes please. Sugar, two types please. Flour, yes please. I need hazelnuts too actually. I can feel this is becoming slightly crazy. I can't stop though. Next aisle, spend a while deliberating over which shampoo and conditioner are most suited to my hair. Last aisle, do I need anymore washing up liquid or clothes softener? Foil? Cling film? No I think I'm fine.

And so I emerge from the last aisle, hurrying a little as I try to stop putting things in my trolley. Ridiculous. I didn't even have everything e.g. parmesan for the parmigiana, salmon or rocket for the beetroot salad I planned, the asparagus that had originally been on my list, etc. I practically ran to the tills, like a guilty lover, trying to pretend the rendezvous had never happened. But it had. I had three heavy shopping bags to prove it. It was one of my silliest shopping trips ever. How much do you reckon I spent? Have a guess and I'll reveal the answer tomorrow.

No comments:

Post a Comment