Falling for you...

There has been some world saving but let's talk about that another day. A few days ago, something far more important happened.

I was in work and my colleague, let's call her Mimi, was having one of those 'on it' days. You know? She was pulling out fridges and cleaning underneath and taking things off shelves and cleaning underneath. She had prepared everything in the kitchen and was ready for the orders to start arriving.

"I'm ready," she was boasting. "I've done everything really early. Are you impressed?"

I was nodding obediently.

Then her cleaning energies focussed on the extractor fan. She climbed up on her little fold out stool, flipped down the cover and took it off with the filter paper attached. She was really getting right inside it to clean it. The very edge tends to get dirty because the filter paper is just a little bit too short.

So she was reaching around the edges to clean it.

At this point in time, I was chatting to a customer in the shop. I had made her a coffee and now she was trying to decide what food to order for her and her daughter. We chatted a little, laughed a little, debated what we thought her toddler would enjoy when suddenly....

CRAAAASH!

Keeping my cool, I asked the customer to take a seat until her food was ready and rushed back to the kitchen, where I was greeted by this.....


(artist's impression)

Mimi looked out uncertainly from a mass of colour and smashed glass. It looked like someone had been murdered in the kitchen. Mimi was wedged onto the two work surfaces, holding herself up by her elbows. Her legs were on the floor but she wasn't using them to stand up. I now know that it is because the jar of honey which had smashed on the ground had made the floor too slippery to stand on. Like those kids' cartoons where a cat goes ice skating or something and can't stand up without falling over a second later.

What had happened was this. Mimi, in her infinite cleaning wisdom, was cleaning the extractor fan, as mentioned. She was reaching to the far corner to get to the last little bit of dirt. She couldn't quite reach but she stretched, convinced she could make it. She stretched.... And stretched....

Then the stool she was standing on slid out from under her. It went backwards, she went forwards and as she fell, her panicking clutching hands alighted upon the tray of bottled things we keep on the windowsill. It has all kinds on it - olive oil, Tabasco, Worcestershire sauce, honey, vinegars, sauces, jams, icing sugar....

She caught the edge of the tray with her fingers whilst falling and flipped it. Yes, she flipped a tray full of bottles across a kitchen....

Unsurprisingly, most of them hit a wall or other surface and smashed upon impact. The honey hit the floor and made the ice rink effect. One of the bottles hit a pan of oil that was sitting on a hob, adding oil into the general mix....

Unsure what had happened, I grabbed her under the arms and helped her stand before running for kitchen roll to get wiping. My eyes started to really sting after a second and I realised that the two bottles of Worcestershire sauce and Tabasco sauce must have been smashed too.

Like a fly to a flame, both had headed for Mimi's right breast and soaked it before the hitting the floor. It took a few minutes for the adrenalin to wear off but suddenly she said to me, "Do you have a spare t-shirt with you? It's really stinging."

After about an hour, the panic was over, the kitchen was clean, the broken glass was in the bin and Mimi had a clean t-shirt on. And then the laughter set in. It was so severe, neither of us could talk to customers or take orders or make coffee.

And that is what happened in work on Tuesday. There's nothing like arriving upon a murder scene in the kitchen to liven up your Tuesday!

London trip (part 1)

Good morning all. It's over to my guest blogger today for a little tour of some of London's little-known hotspots...

 

After my visit to Bletchley Park I drove further south and stayed overnight in London. Next day a relative had organised a walk round some of the lesser known parts (and some of the more well-known). We headed by tube to Blackfriars and began walking from there. The origin of name Blackfriars itself goes back to the 14^th cent. It comes from the black cappa worn by Dominican Friars and the Friars part comes from the French word frères meaning brothers. Close by we saw this very unusually named church:

 

Now if you’re wondering how a parish church can get a name like St Andrew By-The-Wardrobe I can tell you it goes way back in history to 1170. However the “wardrobe” bit of the name did not come about till 1361. Apparently Edward III (1312-77, reigned 1327-1377) moved his royal wardrobe (included, arms, clothing & personal stuff) to somewhere just near the site of the church and so that’s how it got its current name because it was near (or “by”) the king’s wardrobe.

 

Next we came to the College Of Arms. Now this is nothing to do with weapons. It’s all about coats of arms. It’s the place which oversees the granting of various heraldic symbols, shields & town crests used by various councils and individual families across England, Wales & N.Ireland. If you want your family to have its own crest or coat of arms it’s to them you have to apply. (It’s not cheap by the way!). Here’s the entrance:

You can just see the name above the shield over the centre window. It was founded by Richard III in 1484. (His remains, as you may have seen in the news recently, have just been found in Leicester buried under a car park!). Although a royal corporation, with heralds appointed by the British sovereign, they are self-financing and receive no state funding.

Now if you or I decided to make up and use our own coat of arms or indeed someone else’s without their permission we could be brought into the courtroom at the College of Arms. Here’s the pic.

This is where you would be tried for your crime of using an unauthorised coat of arms or misusing someone else’s.

 

Next stop was The Monument. It’s only ever called that and most people know it only by that name. Many people don’t know what it’s a monument to; I also didn’t. It was designed by Christopher Wren & Thomas Hooke and commemorates The Great Fire Of London (1666); it was built 1671-77. Interesting things about it: it is 202ft (62m) tall and lies 202ft from the place where the fire started in Pudding Lane; it is the tallest single stone column in the world; there are 311 steps to the top. As we arrived we saw a queue waiting to go up to the top. However the wait wasn’t too bad and soon we were paying our entrance fee and climbing the spiral stone staircase. I tried to keep count so I knew how far there was to go; I ended up at 314 so not too bad in that I only miscounted by 3 (less than 1% error!). It was pretty full at the top and we could only just about move. They were letting too many people in and not balancing it with those coming out. However it was a great view from the top. Apparently it was used by a number of people for committing suicide by jumping off the top so the area is now fenced in.

 

From there next stop was a church called St Magnus the Martyr. It’s interesting because it stands at what became the start of the (very) old original London Bridge. The church was cut back and an arch built so that horses and carriages could get onto the bridge. Here’s the arch

 

And the sign nearby

 

The original bridge as you will know had many buildings on it – houses, shops etc. Selling them was how they financed the building costs. In the church they have a model about 5-6 feet long showing just how many buildings were crammed onto the bridge.

 

On the way to St Paul’s Cathedral we went past a statue (bust) of John Donne (1572-1631): poet, satirist, lawyer and cleric in the Church of England.

He is famous of course for a number of poems but perhaps his best known are No Man Is An Island & For Whom The Bell Tolls. As I looked at the statue I thought that probably Paul Simon would disagree with the sentiment in the first as his song I Am A Rock (from the album Sounds Of Silence released 1966 although the song began life a year or two earlier) says he’s built walls that make a fortress deep and mighty that none may penetrate; also that he has no need of friendship because friendship causes pain. Van Morrison fans - yes I am one - will know there is a tribute to the man on his album Inarticulate Speech Of The Heart and the track Rave On John Donne. (The song also references Walt Whitman, Omar Khayyam & WB Yeats.)

 

Then we passed a sign reminding us how the YMCA (Young Men’s Christian Association) started – no not in 1978 with The Village People! In 1844 George Williams and eleven others began it in the drapery house where GW lived and worked. The closing words on the plaque are: From its beginning in this place, inspired of God, the association grew to encompass the world.

 

And how about this place?

 

The name comes from the nearby GPO (General Post Office) Headquarters.

In 1900 the park became the site of the Memorial To Heroic Self Sacrifice (by George Frederick Watts). Basically it is a memorial to ordinary people who died saving the lives of others. Here are a couple of examples of the sort of acts commemorated

 

That seems a good place to take a break – with people whose only thought in that moment of incredible danger was for the person in the danger and not themselves; and their actions, whilst saving that person, actually ended up costing them their own life in the process.

 

I will do part 2 next week.

Laura to the rescue!

Yesterday, I resolved to get back to my promise to be more useful. Life took over a little at the weekend. But now I have my superhero outfit on again and I am totally on it. So here were my missions for the day.

Shop for something green - try the environmentally friendly option of something you usually buy.
(The Difference A Day Makes by Karen M. Jones)

Use organic toiletries
(Going Green by Simon Gear)





Thankfully, they're pretty similar and I needed to go shopping anyway, unless I wanted to feed Danda some quince jam and eggs for dinner.

Off I went, to my favourite Waitrose, and crossed my fingers that they wouldn't let me down. And it went well, everyone. It went well. Check it out.





This one isn't too much of a revolution in my home, actually. When I took it to the bathroom, I almost laughed because the pack of toilet tissue that is currently sitting there is the exact same one! I'm not a stranger to being environmentally aware so I must have, on a subconscious level, whilst mindlessly pottering about shopping, grabbed it because I saw it was recycled paper.





The next thing was conditioner, which I've needed for ages. I keep forgetting what it is I need and when I get to the shop, I pick up a shampoo, guessing it must be that. So I have about five shampoos and almost no conditioner. Yesterday, I finally remembered to get the right thing and looked for something organic, on the advice of Simon Gear. I found one called Avalon Organics, which I've used before, and then another one with a foreign sounding name and a useful list on the side. If the list is to be believed, it lacks all the usual crap that makes toiletries so bad for the environment. It was pricey (almost a third of the cost of my entire shopping!) but it's one of those things I don't buy often and what's the point of having money, if you're not prepared to try and do something useful with it.

Next I went to buy a card in a different shop and saw a chance to be environmentally friendly again.





Now, Danda is a man who drinks a lot of coffee. And a lot of tea. Every day. All day. A lot of liquids. Very often. And he buys them at local coffee shops. All those paper coffee cups add up. More often than not, he brings them home and recycles them but it would be better to avoid using the paper cups altogether. So I saw this flask in the shop and got it straight away, knowing that Danda would be filled with glee at the prospect of joining me on my world-saving mission. Upon returning home, I presented him with this beautiful ceramic flask, a potential revolution in his coffee-drinking world. Excitement and apprehension flitted across his face...

"Don't you like it? Should I have got a different colour?"

"No, I love it. I just know I'll break it. I'll try not to. But I'm clumsy. We both know this is true."

I had to admit that it is perhaps true. I mean, I haven't even told you all the story yet of him making dinner on Thursday and managing to somehow throw my entire plate of food across the kitchen floor. We crossed our fingers and decided to give it a good go. So far, he has had it one day. Let's see how long he can keep it.

And lastly, a follow up from my second day of world-saving...





This lovely renewable energy company sent along some info and contracts and will get started imminently. Excited!

A letter to the world

Dear World,

How are you? What's that? A bit messy and need some work doing? Ah. Ok. Yes. I did promise I'd help with that, didn't I? And I did, World. I did. On Day 1, I donned my best dirty Crocs, grabbed a bag and walked around collecting rubbish. I then divided this rubbish into different recycling bins and even recycled the bag itself. On Day 2, I changed my energy supplier to a local renewable energy company. And World, I would like you to know that it was my close friend's birthday and I sent him an electronic birthday card instead of a paper one, to save your trees.

You see, World, I had had an idea. I would do at least one good thing every day to look after you, to make life a little easier for you, to ensure your health for future generations. I was excited about looking after you. I guess it's that maternal instinct in me. I like looking after people and things. I also like playing the SuperWoman role when I first get an idea in my head. I will do and be everyone's hero. I will single handedly cure all of your ills. I will be the answer to every problem. It doesn't take me long, World, before I realise that I am not capable of this. But I still think I can, every time a new idea comes along.

So Day 1 and 2 came and went, World. I had picked up litter and I had not sacrificed your trees for a birthday card. Then Day 3 came. Let me describe Day 3.

Wake up late. Meet a friend for lunch. Go a friend's birthday party.

Day 4 looked like this. Wake up early. Work. Go for lunch with a friend. Have friends over for dinner.

Day 5 was as follows. Wake up. Go to work. All day. Come home. Eat. Watch The Tourist. Marvel at the twist at the end and wonder how much weight Johnny Depp had to put on for the film. Go to bed.

You see, World? I had resolved to do something good every day for you. And then life got in the way. But I did do small things for you, World. I turned off the tap when brushing my teeth instead of letting it run like I usually do. I used only public transport to go around seeing my many friends (I've got loads! Honest). For dinner, I had food that would have otherwise been thrown away. I didn't fill the kettle with water to boil it. I only put in as much as I needed. So although Day 3, 4 and 5 rolled by in a haze of work and friends and hardly any sleep, I did a little for you, World. I did a little.

Day 6 is a new day though, World. Out will come the book of tips and out will come my lycra superhero outfit (otherwise known as my dirty purple Crocs). I will do better. There is always room for improvement, after all.

Actually, on that note, you could do with being sunnier in England, World. I'm not criticising. I'm just... You know.... I'm just saying.... You could work on that.

Thanks.

Yours sincerely,

Laura SuperWoman Maisey

Search terms 7

You can never have too many of these posts, I feel. The wierd and wonderful world of search terms never fails to keep me entertained.

I'm especially glad that the person searching for PJ and Duncan arrived here, less so about the person looking up a certain type of person from Cockermouth....

woolton quarry tunnel entrance
swim gods
high street highgate pharmacy coleridge
george michael address highgate
cooking mahi mahi waitrose
longitude of arnamurchan point
george michael highgate address
lazylauramaisey
bognor regis 2p machine
what album did karen carpenter do
buses stop gavestone
why do i say things twice
donald duck dog truffle
kingston rejected me
henry neumann salt miner northwich
king richard iii big yellow taxi
loose women photos an captions kingston university interview experience
kate moss highgate grove
why is queen's wood in highgate so dark
coffee-traffle butter
my first bikram class
portmanteau sanskrit words example
hairy girls au naturel
phrase "can i have a word"
slags from cockermouth
pj & duncan songs wrapping
tomtom saltside-admin
asparagus disease
old age hobbies
how does the salt museum in northwich operate
girelephant the croods
confit rabbit roux
dying duvet cover indoors
anderton boat lift old pics
kate moss highgate
steps on how to build a igloo out of snow
contested subcontinental atea
all about being sporty
truffle pasta nottingham
rock salt museum in northwich
+transvestite captions
the grove highgate history
hide and seek playroom
did jim morrison visit glastonbury
books you don't want to end
one direction diffrent sunglasess
هرام ينسيكادنادينوت
strawberry field woolton
does du cane court look like a swastika
"evening in venice" face cream
store wellingtons upside down
freehold covenants revision
"sandy denny" cadences
michel roux confit rabbit
audrey hepburn swimming in the tiburn
do all race walkers cheat
worst landlord ever
what does the wich mean in northwich
photographs of cyclist falling off bike
aldous huxley supermarket
ex-unitate curaque fortior

Last minute post

Ok, I got in late from a friend's birthday party and am going out early to work so it's just going to be some pictures from the party, I'm afraid.





Some of pretty food





Bloody Mary shots!





Pass The Parcel





The two prizes I won during Pass The Parcel - an Angry Birds pen (which I promptly broke) and a Lego aeroplane kit.





The big prize at the end of Pass The Parcel - a Super Mario mug and chocolate egg. What every 28 year old needs.





No party is complete without a party bag!





"Oo! Let's all blow our balloons up and let them go at the same time! Ok, ok. Are you ready? One! Two! Three! Hahahahaha!"





Oooooo... Bubbles!....

A bit of world-saving and a bit of award-receiving

My instructions for yesterday went as follows:

Install solar panels for your water heating
(Going Greener by Simon Gear)

Say it with pixels - save a tree and send an electronic greeting instead.
(The Difference A Day Makes by Karen M. Jones)

The first one, unfortunately, wasn't the best option for me. I had some rubbish news about a friend and felt rubbish so needed things I could do from the sofa, drinking a cup of tea. So, my version of installing a solar panel was getting in touch with a green energy supplier, called Good Energy, and enquiring about switching my gas and electricity to them. All their energy is local and renewable eg wave and wind power. I did the initial stages of giving them my details so that's in motion at least.

The second challenge was easier as it is a good friend's birthday today so I sent him a silly e-card of three pigs singing happy birthday, instead of buying an actual card. Done!

And now onto an award, presented to me by the wonderful JumeiraJames who, coincidentially, lives in an area of Dubai that I lived in when I was a baby.



The rules for this one are as follows:

1. Display the award logo on your blog.
2. Link back to the person who nominated you.
3. State 7 things about yourself.
4. Nominate 15 bloggers for this award and link to them.
5. Notify those bloggers of the nomination and the award’s requirements.

Ok, here's my seven things...

1. When I was younger, my favourite chocolate bar was Yorkie. Then they brought out that advert saying 'Not For Girls' so I stopped buying them. That showed them.

2. I don't definitely know the difference between bio and non-bio washing powder.

3. I love wildebeest. I just think they're quite majestic and beautiful.

4. Last night I stayed up quite late doing a jigsaw puzzle.

5. At age 27, I still sometimes put my shoes on the wrong feet. I did it yesterday actually.

6. Today I have a day off. I have been waking up quite early every morning for a little while. To celebrate not having to wake up early, I slept in til 10.20am and am seriously considering eating strawberry cheesecake for breakfast.

7. I don't drink alcohol. Not to make a statement about anything. I just don't. Herbal tea is my preferred drink of choice.

Now for my fifteen nominations. Here goes ...

1. Lovefoodlovefashion - new on the blogging scene but fabulous. I can't understand what took her so long to start!

2. The Waiting - following the adventures and photoshoots of the little one is the backdrop to my days.

3. A Londoner in Dorset - once an adventurer in far off lands, she is now exploring parts of England in her new home. Always something lovely to read here.

4. Fiammisday - beautiful clothes, beautiful shoes. Despite being childless by choice, I sometimes wish I had someone small to dress in these outfits!

5. Bagni di Lucca and Beyond - the first place I look when planning a trip to Italy (Naples in April).

6. Someone Fat Happened - what's not to love about a farting dog accompanying your yoga session or childhood pictures which prompt laughter? All of life is here. Wedding jitters, work frustration, family life.

7. Jump For Joy Project - the perfect pick me up if feeling rubbish or wondering what to do with your life.

8. Campari and Sofa - there is tons to love in this blog (a mutual appreciation of the Tube being one of them) but I think the recent post about the treatment of women is one everyone should read.

9. Blogging For A Good Book - you can never have too many good book recommendations!

10. Our Adventures In Croatia - reading this blog gives me adventure-envy. Lots of beautiful pictures. I must travel more! The recent post on Venice bridges got me planning my next-next trip to Italy (the next one is already planned and waiting to come to fruition!).

11. Ordinary Lisa - just lovely honest writing. If ever there was a blog that encouraged me to notice and appreciate the things and people around me, this would be it.

12. British Museum Blog - loads of great stuff here. They are doing a small series of posts called London in 20 objects which is fascinating. Have a look!

13. Le Zoe Musings - now it might just be the Instagram effect but this woman's life appears to be lived in varying shades of beautiful.

14. Live To Write - Write To Live - if I can't think what to write about or just need some inspiration or writing advice, I don't need to look any further than this blog.

15. Belle Grove Plantation Bed and Breakfast - I have been following this blog almost since I started blogging. The stories this plantation has to tell from the past and the present are amazing. I can't wait to visit, which I will do one day!