Things Danda often says

Me: Put the TV on.
Danda: It won't fit!

Me: Danda, put the kettle on.
Danda: It won't fit!

Me: I need a wee.
Danda: I haven't got one.

(He does a variation of this story every time he sees a cat.)
Danda: I came home the other night and I'd forgotten my keys so I looked through the letterbox and the cat was sitting there so I said, "Let me in," and he said, "Me... Ow?"

Danda: Ohhhh, do we have to watch another food programme?
Me: Yes.

Danda: The French are revolting.
(This is a reference to the revolution, not just a comment on the French nation.)

(Variations on this are said every time Danda tries something new. It happened yesterday when we went ice skating.)
Danda: Did you see that bloke come running over when I got on the ice then? Did you see him? He come running over and said, "Oi, no professionals!" I said "I'm not." He said "Well, you should be cause you'd win the world cup at ice skating."

Danda: Aren't I the tallest, most handsome man you know?

Danda: Why do girls wear perfume and make up? Cause they smell and they're ugly.
(I like to think this is a funny little joke...)

Danda: Ah, ah, ah, ah.... *pointing to his open mouth and doing a sad face*
(This means he would like a cup of tea and he has seen me move in the general direction of the kettle.)

Danda: Shall we tidy up, its getting a bit messy.
Me: Do we have to?
Danda: No.
Me: Ok.