Phone conversations I had on Tuesday

3.15pm

TDCJ: Texas Department of Corrections, how can I help you?
Me: Hiya, I'm just calling to inquire about visiting an inmate. I was planning to come next week. I'm flying from England. But I've not received the paperwork to allow me to visit. I think the post is going slowly or something. Is there anything I can do to speed things up?
TDCJ: The inmates are allowed to change their visitor lists middle of next month.
Me: O, ok. On his latest letter, he said he's changing it end of this month.
TDCJ: No. It's the middle of the month.
Me: So what can I do about coming on Monday?
TDCJ: You won't be able to visit on Monday.
Me: Is there nothing I can do?
TDCJ: You can come but you won't be able to visit.

3.30pm

Lastminute.com: Lastminute dot com, how can I help you?
Me: I have to cancel my flight for this Saturday. I remember taking out a cancellation policy on the flight.
Lastminute.com: Yeh, it's a nonrefundable flight, unfortunately. You can get a refund on the taxes. Not all of them. But a few.
Me: How much would that be?
Lastminute.com: £147
Me: Really?! But the flight was £574! That's hardly anything back.
Lastminute.com: Yeh.
Me: Can I rearrange the flight? I'm probably going to go at the end of the month instead.
Lastminute.com: Ok, you'd need to pay the difference, if the new flight costs more. And the airline charges £100 for admin fee when you change. And we charge £45. And you're only allowed to travel between Monday and Thursday.
Me: Monday and Thursday in the same week?
Lastminute.com: Yes.
Me: So I have to get from London to Texas, to the prison for two days of visits, back to Texas and back to London? In four days?
Lastminute.com: Yes.
Me: And how much am I looking at for that?
Lastminute.com: If you travel at the end of June, going Monday 24th, returning Thursday 27th, the extra charges you will have to pay will be £472.
Me: What?! Wait a minute. My flight was £570 to start with. That's almost double!
Lastminute.com: Yeh. Shall I book it for you?
Me: You know what? I've had a pretty rubbish day. My head is aching and I'm knackered. Can I just call you back?
Lastminute.com: Mam, can I ask the reason why you need to cancel the flight? Delta have a policy that you may apply for a full refund in certain circumstances.
Me: (Deep breath.) My friend is on death row in Texas and he has an execution date next month. I wanted to go and visit him but the prison just informed me that I won't be able to visit, even if I go all the way there. So I'm not... I can't go... There's no point. I can't use those flights.
Lastminute.com: Ah ok. I'm so sorry to hear that.
Me: So will I be able to get a refund?
Lastminute.com: No. The special circumstances are something like if your family member is ill.
Me: Is this not a special circumstance? He's being executed in a matter of weeks?
Lastminute.com: No, I'm sorry. So shall I change your flights for you?
Me: No. I. Just. Just leave it. I can't be bothered anymore. I'm exhausted. Bye.
Lastminute.com: But mam, I...
Me: No. No more.
Lastminute.com: If I could just....

Beeeeeep.

It is 3.45pm. I am ready for bed.

And that, my friends, is what happened to me on Tuesday. My mind is tired. My head is aching. I'm wondering when we became so addicted to rules and regulations.

And I'm sad.

*As a postscript to this, I called on Wednesday and Lastminute.com had changed their minds. I do not have to travel Monday to Thursday in the same week. Problem solved! I'm going in late June and it only cost £280 to make the adjustments. Phew.