"Inspirational quotes"

Inspirational quotes, hey. That old hat. The good old, why aim for the sky when you can aim for the stars? I mean it's all so silly. I've read so many 'your life is like a...' and then a ridiculous comparison that I feel I'm being taken for a fool here.

Let me make something up. You can literally say anything.

Your life is a like a Hoover. Sometimes it cleans up, sometimes it sits around doing nothing. But when you're hoovering, everyone knows you're hoovering.

And that's inspirational because it's about how, when you decide to do something amazing with your life, people will sit up and listen.

I mean, nonsense. That's nonsense. I just made that up. Not that I'm down on positivity. I'm definitely not! I'm quite a positive person. But there's only so many times I can read the words, 'if you try hard enough, you will achieve your goals' before I'm like, hold up, there's a lot more at play here. That's not the only factor. For every success story, there's a guy on the side going "Well I tried loads and I've still got nothing."

So here are some of my quotes. Should you wish to quote them or draw strength from them, go ahead. There's no copyright here.

That's another life-coachy quote for you. "There's no copyright here." I'm sure you can make something of that if you want to.

Ok, here goes. A foray into my potential new career as a life coach.

In life, generally, there are people who are fairly happy and there are people who are fairly unhappy, no matter what their actual life circumstance is.

Sometimes you make loads of effort and end up nowhere.

Sometimes that doesn't matter. You've probably figured out something else to do by then.

Having money helps.

Sometimes you should just bake a cake instead.

Life's quite nice.

Moaning doesn't help, but we like it anyway.

Being in sunny weather isn't the be-all and end-all.

Truffles are tasty.

And that, my friends, is my life advice. Should you need any more, I am more than happy to share my talent again. I expect to see my wisdom embossed on people's doors and tattooed on arms before long, ok?

O, here's another little titbit before I go.

When you're tired, going to bed is nice.